"You don't marry one person. You marry three: the person you think they are, the person they are, and the person they are going to become as the result of being married to you." Richard Needham
"What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility."
Leo Tolstoy
LOVE and MARRIAGE .. What is It..?
A student asks a teacher: What is love?
The teacher said: In order to answer your question, go to the paddy field and choose the biggest paddy and come back.But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick.
The student went to the field, went through the first row, saw one big paddy, but he wonders....."Maybe there is a bigger one later."
Then he saw a bigger one... but maybe there is an even bigger one waiting for him. Later, when he finished more than half of the paddy field, he realized that the paddy is not as big as the previous one he saw. He knew he has missed the biggest one, and is full of regrets. So, he ended up going back to the teacher empty handed.
The teacher told him, this is love... you keep looking for a better one, but when later you realize, you have already missed the person.
The teacher said: In order to answer your question, go to the corn field and choose the biggest corn and come back. But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick.
The student went to the corn field, and this time he is careful not to repeat the previous mistake. When he reached the middle of the field, he has picked one medium corn that he feels satisfied with, and came back to the teacher.
The teacher told him, "This time as you bring back a corn, you looked for one that is just nice, and you have faith and believe this is the best one you get. This is marriage.
*****
Subject: LONGEST MARRIED COUPLE (85 YEARS!)...GIVES RELATIONSHIP ADVICE
Herbert and Zelmyra Fisher of North Carolina have been married 85 years (86 in May) and hold the Guinness World Record for the longest marriage of a living couple and get this…. Zelmyra is 101 years old and Herbert is 104.
1. What made you realize that you could spend the rest of your lives together? Were you scared at all?
H & Z: With each day that passed, our relationship was more solid and secure. Divorce was NEVER an option - or even a thought.
2. How did you know your spouse was the right one for you?
We grew up together & were best friends before we married. A friend is for life - our marriage has lasted a lifetime
3. Is there anything you would do differently after more than 80 years of marriage?
We wouldn’t change a thing. There’s no secret to our marriage, we just did what was needed for each other & our family.
4. What is your advice to someone who is trying to keep the faith that Mr. Right is really out there?
Zelmyra: Mine was just around the corner! He is never too far away, so keep the faith - when you meet him, you’ll know.
5. What was the best piece of marriage advice you ever received?
Respect, support & communicate with each other. Be faithful, honest & true. Love each other with ALL of your heart.
6. What are the most important attributes of a good spouse?
Zelmyra: A hard worker & good provider. The 1920s were hard, but Herbert wanted & provided the best for us. I married a good man!
7. What is your best Valentine’s Day memory?
Zelmyra: I cook dinner EVERY day.Herbert left work early & surprised me – he cooked dinner for me! He is a VERY good cook!
Herbert: I said that I was going to cook dinner for her & she could relax - the look on her face & clean plate made my day!
8. You got married very young – how did u both manage to grow as individuals yet not grow apart as a couple?
“Everyone who plants a seed & harvests the crop celebrates together” We are individuals, but accomplish more together.
9. What is your fondest memory of your 85-year marriage?
Our legacy: 5 children, 10 grandchildren, 9 great-grandchildren, and 1 great-great grandchild.
10. Does communicating get easier with time? How do you keep your patience?
The children are grown, so we talk more now. We can enjoy our time on the porch or our rocking chairs - together.
11. How did you cope when you had to be physically separated for long periods of time?
Herbert: We were apart for 2 months when Z was hospitalized with our 5th child. It was the most difficult time of my life. Zelmyra’s mother helped me with the house and the other children, otherwise I would have lost my mind.
12. At the end of bad relationship day, what is the most important thing to remind yourselves?
Remember marriage is not a contest – never keep a score. God has put the two of you together on the same team to win
13. Is fighting important?
NEVER physically! Agree that it’s okay to disagree, & fight for what really matters. Learn to bend - not break!
14. What’s the one thing you have in common that transcends everything else?
We are both Christians & believe in God. Marriage is a commitment to the Lord. We pray with & for each other every day.
*****
To all out there who believes in marriage as much as I do, hold on to that belief!
Love is worth fighting for. Everything from God is worth fighting for, especially marriage.
"A good marriage is the union of two good forgivers." Ruth Bell Graham
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